She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We had to coat check the pizza.
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You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize