Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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