dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
worst night to have a conscience
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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