And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
