i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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