you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
