i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize