Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You ate ashes out of my bong
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
