Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
