Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
