but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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