I looked at my own cervix.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i've created a new STD.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
