I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
