she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
