It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
