yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
All I want is dick and wine.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
