But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
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i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
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I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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