How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
