home. puking in laundry basket.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
