There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
