We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
