At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
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When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
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okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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