so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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