guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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