just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
