there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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