4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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