TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
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HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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