You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
