we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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