you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
