brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
