Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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