I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
