I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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