So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
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No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
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I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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