i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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