I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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