i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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