Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
