U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize