That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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