i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
