Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
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French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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