wake up i wanna do it froggy style
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
