i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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