i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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