I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
