I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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