What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
