YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
