Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
is wine microwaveable?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
