worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
