Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
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