This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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