you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
vagina is talking i cant
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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