i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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