well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
