it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
