So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
