Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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