some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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