we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
