Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
