i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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